Saturday, October 16, 2010

MenVs Men - Conversations with my Alterego

Well, we all have views about various issues. Not necessarily for, sometimes against, many times both for & against..!

I have had strong views about this gender bias right from childhood. But as i grew older and more particularly, got married and actually got to know a man, my views have been fluctuating wildly.

I m sure many of you will identify with both me & my alter..!

ME: I wish i were a man..Gosh..Thats what LindaGoodman (Sunsigns) says about me too..!!

ALTER: Typical Scorpio!! Now, shouldnt you be grateful you were born a woman...??? A WOMAN..!!!WOW..!!!!!

ME: Grrrrr...!Look at them Men..! What do they do to deserve that Godly status they have in society..? I HATE MEN..!

ALTER: No, You dont hate them, you are jealous..!!

ME: Alright, okay. Coming to the point, dont you think women these days do more work than men? They run the family, they bring in the moolah, do all the dirty work at home, run errands, drop the kids at school, cook, clean..blah..blah..blah..???? Men gave themselves the pedestal simply because they were the sole bread-winners of the family in those days, didnt they ? so why hasnt the equation changed now. ?

ALTER: Its not as simple as that, dear..! The equation is not as biased as it was before. Grandmom & mom didnt have the freedom that we have now. Does that make you feel better ?

ME: What &*$$ freedom do i have ? Can i walk down the street at 11pm, alone? The dogs bark & chase, but i m not scared of those poor canines as i m of the hidden human monsters i m sure are waiting for a hapless female victim..

ALTER: There you go again..!!! Drama-queen..! Not all men are out there to grab women..those guys you saw on the street late-night, were there probably becos their wife threw them out after a fight..or just out to have a secret smoke...!!!!

ME: Oh Yeah..?? And whats that you get to read in the papers everyday ? Rapes, murders, frauds...Arent they all crimes committed my MEN..??? And the victims are all WOMEN, directly or indirectly..!!!

ALTER: They are wired differently Girl, criminals are not classified as male or female, it should be human & inhuman-barbaric..Why, didnt we read about that female who brutally killed an innocent child of her lover ?

ME: Thats a stray incident.! Dont even talk about it So, this is the only justification you give to the atrocities committed by men? - that some women also do the same ??

ALTER: You are in a male-bashing mood...I will give you my answers in a while..just you wait..!

Wednesday, December 23, 2009


Ladies...Since long, i ve wanted to write about this..

But since i m no wordsmith, i ve held back so far...

Ever since i was a teen, i ve noticed, like all of you would have, that boys get more freedom, more choices, less restrictions, less attention(u know what i mean), than us

At home, elder sis didnt get to study engg she wanted, as the money needed was allotted to brother's potential engg venture(didnt happen). Me, i didnt even think of it.

Past school and in college, the usual eve-teasing(what a horrendous term..!), gaping, following, trying to grope, and such stuff, as any teenager would endure, had me thinking.. why is it that only girls have to go thru this..?

When i first joined work, i had to deal with co workers who took pleasure in passing double-meaning comments(i understood the meaning only after a while). I learnt to deal with them very quickly. I wondered if any guy would have had to go thru this..and had me thinking again..

Then for the first time i thought that maybe, if i were born a boy, would life have been easier? I was then just past 20yrs of age.

Cut to the present, after marriage(a very adjustable, soft natured hubby), one daughter(a sweet gal, gud student), i still cant escape that feeling..

Last week, during a lunchtime discussion in office, a collegue casually commented that these days women have it so good.. I begged to differ, and asked him why he thought so.
He chose to take his wife as example, and said "She gets to decide what to cook, what to buy for the house, how to dress the kids, what to buy for herself, how to spend her time in the house.. What more do u women ask for ?"

I said " But isnt all this within the boundaries you set for her ? Suppose she decides to pursue a passion, which requres her to go out of the house, and you will be required to share household responsibilities, will it be okay with you ?"

He retorted " Atheppadi ? Veetukkuleye edhuvena senjukattum. Ippadeyellam decisions edutha she will only suffer..No way.."

Our argument continued on predictable lines, and he laughed it off with "intha kaalathu ladies are very argumentative.!"

My question is, time and again we are told that women are getting better treatment than in the past, but is it really so ? I dont want to discuss about the fate of women in the lower strata of society, what about the creamy layer, us ?

Are we always allowed to dream big ? I dont mean daydream..? NO/YES

Does a man ever feel guilty about not being able to strike a perfect work-home balance..?NO/YES

Can i go out to a hotel for dinner/evening movie alone ?NO/YES

Does my hubby have to worry if the maid does not turn up ?NO/YES

If i dont get that promotion i wanted, how many relatives(inc hubby) would say, "vidathey, adutha vaatti kandippa kidaichidum..entha citykku trf pannuvangannu sonne..?"

All NO and no YES..

Random thoughts such as these and many more cross my mind often, but i m not able to put them to paper right now. U could add to this list, though

Now, please dont conclude that i m a feminist or something. I thoroughly enjoy being a woman, and a mother at that.. Not to forget the lil perks and pamperings we enjoy as 'ladies' . Just that i m going thru a phase where i cant help focussing on the disadvantages we face, as women

Still, as Linda Goodman had written in her book of Sun Signs, like a true Scorpio, i silently wish i had been born a man.. Maybe next time..?

What do you think ?